Who’s up for a trip?

PS – If getting a Michelin-starred meal for under ten bucks isn’t awesome, I quit.

-Italian
-Cheesesteak (or Chicken Cheesesteak)
-Turkey
-Meatball

Needless to say, I’m beside myself with joy.  It’s possible I’ll eat nothing but hoagies (and of course, burgers) for two straight weeks.

While Awesomeopolis does not endorse vigilante justice, we do recognize awesomeness and badassery in all its forms, which includes the emergence of this overwhelming civic pride and communal brotherhood in a place like Kensington.  We also have to stand by the president of Philadelphia’s Fraternal Order of Police, who said: “These guys really stepped up.”

The two mob leaders split reward money for the perpetrator’s capture, which was increased by 15% thanks to a private donation from another connoisseur of badassery.

It’s not like these men are Presidents, actors, authors, or even athletes under most conventional senses of the term, but still we know them, because they show up at the most hallowed grounds of competitive eating and wage the same battle every American does at every meal–they just do it much much better.

But this time it wasn’t wings at the Wing Bowl (the largest competitive eating event) or Nathan’s Hot Dogs (perhaps the most famous and definitive of contests), or even pies (the quintessential eat-off).  No, this time it was that staple of college students over which antes were upped.  While normal men think “How much of this could I eat?” these true American heroes asked “How many can I eat?” (Kobayashi eats like a vacuum and appeared on a Fox reality show; how much more American can you get?)

That’s right, pizza.  In a clash of the titans, Kobayashi achieved a comeback victory against his primary rival, who bested him at the ancient art of hot dog eating after thrice conquering the Wing Bowl.  Why did they eat so many Pizza Hut P’zones so fast?  Because they were there.

You can read about it in this Philadelphia Inquirer article, but keep in mind that Awesomeopolis doesn’t necessarily endorse Pizza Hut, just the practice of eating lots of delicious food.  And the notion that eating almost a 12″ P’zone per minute is pretty impressive.

On May 5th, President Obama and Vice President Biden were scheduled to have lunch together in the Oval Office to discuss affairs of state.  After meeting up, however, they realized they were both jonesing for a good burger.  So they decided, hey, it’s our business lunch, we can eat whatever and wherever we want.  Who’s gonna stop us?  Nobody, that’s who.

They took a quick jaunt out to the DC quiet suburbs to a burger place (Ray’s Hell Burger in Arlington, VA) to get some grilled-to-order goodness.  They paid in cash.  Now, all of this would have been a nice quiet lunch between two coworkers, except for the fact that it’s hard for the leader of the free world to make a discreet exit, especially when even a “quick jaunt” involves a presidential motorcade and half the White House press corps.  Well, the press ate it up, but Obama and Biden hardly seemed to notice, as they had their own eating up to do.

So here’s to our POTUS (President of the United States) and VPOTUS being awesome enough not to care about what a schedule said, not to be taken in by the trappings of Washington, and not lose themselves.  Their simple logic of “we want burgers; let’s go get burgers” reassures me that our leadership is keeping their heads above the water.  Partisan politics may not exist in Awesomeopolis, but down to Earth burger-eating is probably at pandemic levels, and it’s nice to see a modicum of grounded sanity in our real-world leaders.

(One of many links to prove I’m not making this up out.)

Rather than get all down and grumpy about our imminent demise as a species, Awesomeopolis is your haven, your home for swine flu levity and joy. Enjoy this little link dump.

Online Self Diagnosis Tool: Do You Have Swine Flu?

It’s a virus, it’s the flu, it spreads through sneezing.

But please, let’s be politically correct about this.

And don’t forget to watch your children: they’re more susceptible to this kind of thing.

Lest you think this is a new problem…

Have any other swine flu fun? Post it in the comments, let’s make this post a buzzing hot spot for people who aren’t buying into the panic, and feel like a bit of respite from the madness.